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[Jul. 21st, 2008|03:59 am] |
Mother fuckin fuck dood. I hate this bullshit. Fuckin summer cold is fuckin rapin me over here. So fuckin agitated.
We went to the in-haus doctor guy [and the fuckin prick took my cigar away] he he's all yer naht dyin, jest sweat it out in the sauna. I don't even know why we go to that douche anyways. He's always a douche. Don't need no douche. I know shit about medicine. Naht him. Fucker sayin shit about pahsicles...
I guess one of those Duncan Hills coffee shops exploded and burned a bunch of fans or somethin. And Offdensen wants us to do a benefit show, like its our fault or somethin. Fuck that, I gaht a summer cold and I'm bitchy as fuck. I don't even wanna write this no more.
FUCKIN SUMMER COLD. |
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| Are vampires metal? |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|09:35 pm] |
When the only person ya expect to be totally normal and sane suddenly gets fuckin weird, yer shit gets all fucked up.
I'm all layin in bed comfy with my haht new roommate, and Charlie calls me into his office fer some bullshit meeting thing. He starts his little ramblin about this and that and makin money. I'm kinda tunin it out till somethin he says makes sense or sounds important to me. Cus money and bussiness are important and all but naht fer me to handle; that's what I pay him fer and he's good at it, so I don't gahta listen in my book. But he's lookin kinda weird like his jaw's different or somethin, and then I notice its jest like he's holdin his jaw different, like he's gaht somethin in his mouth. And I'm naht even listenin now, jest leanin in real close over his desk and tryin to figure out what's different.
OFFDENSEN HAS FUCKIN FANGS.
So I freak out of course! And I'm all like "Dood! What the fuck? When did ya get fangs?!" And ya know what? Fucker wouldn't even gimme a straight answer! He's all "No." and hides behind his papers and shit.
Dood. This is serious. I think he's a vampire. I mean, the guy's pale as fuck all the time, nobody sees him unless he comes to us, and he's gaht fuckin fangs. Didn't see no blood or corpses around, besides the usual. But dood, my manager is a fuckin vampire! What if he eats one of us?! He's a fuckin vampire! Nobody kill him though cus... he knows all our shit and we need that. But fuck dood! Somebody fuckin fix this stat or I'm gonna effin knife somebody. |
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