| Bored |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|12:10 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | summer | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin | ] |
Summer's here. I don't fuckin like summer. Its too haht and I can't go outside cus my skin gets all red and peels off. Naht that I fuckin like it outside anyways, effin trees everywhere and shit. The only good thing really about summer is more pahpsicles.
Sometimes I look back at the shit I've done and I'm like 'those were the best fuckin times', even when I didn't have shit. I guess that means I'm really startin to get old or somethin. I remember spendin nights out on the Sunset Strip, all fuckin done up and too much hair spray, gettin drunk and startin fights and jest listenin to some crappy live bands. I didn't have shit but it was fuckin paradise.
I jest get fuckin bored with nothin to do. Naht really workin on the album. Maybe I'll go see if I can get myself arrested or somethin. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2009|01:22 am] |
Waking up this morning was one of the best days of my life. I finally gaht my dick back. I dunno how it happened, if that curse or whatever jest wore off, but I'm back to normal and that's all that matters. I'm gonna walk around naked all week to celebrate.
Bein a lady was naht cool at all. I'm sick of bein turned into shit and I ain't gonna go through it again. Next time I get turned into somethin, so help me gahd, I'm gonna knife whoever does it.
At least I had a good excuse naht to work on the album. Charlie's still down our throats about that. Some shit's finally comin together, but its gonna be a long while. Doesn't really matter though. No rush. I mean, I love what I do. Bein a drummer is fuckin awesome. But he's all work work work hoodies work. A guy's gahta jest relax once in awhile. |
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| Writer's Block: Going Greener |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|11:45 pm] |
Uh being "green" or whatever is totally lame and naht metal. Fuck trees. Hate 'em. I don't fuckin need em so whatever. Let the hippies worry about it.
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| Just in time! |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|10:15 pm] |
Dok and I jest finally got back from our honeymoon! Oh my gahd it was totally awesome. We went down to Bora Bora to some beach I can't spell and got one of those water bungalow rooms. I rented out the ones around it too cus I wanted my fuckin privacy, naht some fuckin fans near us or somebody complainin about all the noise or somethin. It was amazing. I think we both gaht totally sunburnt worse than we've ever been, but it didn't matter. And thanks to everybody that came to the wedding. It was a fuckin blast.
Now we're finally back, and just in the nick of fuckin time for St. Patty's Day! St Patty's day is one of the best holidays out there. Last year I drank for a week straight. I sorta remember some really weird shit happening, something about werewolves but naht really. Maybe I was jest too drunk. But all day tomorrow, Jack and Guinness will be my best friends. No practice, jest drinkin. Everybody's Irish on St. Patty's Day!
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2009|03:12 am] |
So I'm gettin married in a few weeks. Its weird. I thought that it'd be kinda ya know, stereotypical and I'd be havin second thoughts or all scared or somethin. But I ain't at all. I'm fuckin stoked. Nothin's gonna change cept somethin will actually be legal between us. We gaht rings and a document. I uh.. never thought I'd get married. Ever. And it wasn't a doods or ladies thing. Jest never thought... ya know... someone would stick around, I guess.
Dorochet, where are we gettin fucked up? Cus I know Dok's gonna wanna do somethin... um....... different so yea. Bachelor party. Who wants to get fucked up? I'm buyin.
[[lock from Dok]]
...I gaht him this really girly ring, but I think he's gonna be stoked. I dunno. I'm second guessin myself cus I don't feel nervous.
[[/lock]]
[(ooc: to make things easy, lets pretend gay marriage is legal everywhere.)] |
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| Cats, birthdays, and glögg |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|10:10 pm] |
Sooooo I'm naht a cat or whatever anymore. That was fuckin weird. And before ya guys even START sayin shit that Dok is all an evil scientist and blah blah, this was totally a legit accident and ya should be pointin yer fingers at fuckin Schrödinger, naht him. Yea. Ya know what I mean.
But uh.. ears like that and tails are naht fun. The claws were kinda cool. I found out that water can be used as a weapon and that its really really easy to accidentally hogtie yerself with twine. Hopefully this never happens again. I'm all fer jest stayin human fer awhile.
AND DOROCHET. WHAT THE FUCK DOOD. STAHP WITH THE CHASIN. FUCKER.
Everything jest needs to like, chill fer awhile. No more surprises. Jest gahta get through Christmas.
Oh yea, and my fuckin wife tried to sneak his birthday by me. I caught that shit. Gaht him this koi pond thing he wanted. I dunno. Whatever makes him happy. I dunno what the koi are about.
But its wintertime, and that means eggnog with booze, and glögg all around. I can't argue with that.
BUT I CAN ARGUE WITH THIS: WHY THE FUCK DID THEY DISCONTINUE ZIMA?! DOOD. WHY.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2008|08:53 pm] |
Japanese people are fucked up. No offense, naht all of ya. But why d'ya guys love Paris Hilton so effing much? Its like she's Jesus or somethin. Normally when I go out somewhere with Dok, there's some douchebag fan that's all 'oh my gahd its Pickles' and all that bullshit. Naht it Japan. Naht even close. Oh they noticed me. Cus I'm totally the same height as everyone else there and ya'd think red hair and freckles would stick out a lot, even if they didn't know who I was. A bunch a people saw me and were all mumbling in Japanese "Oh! Pikurusu!" Yea, my name sounded that fuckin weird. Then Dok steps out with me. And they lost their fuckin minds. I guess the only time a seven foot tall skinny ass blonde goes over there is when Miss Shitty-Night-Vision-Sex-Tape makes and appearance. It was like a fuckin mob and then were all "PARISU!" and screamin and takin pictures. Oh my gahd I'm not doin that again.
And gahd we went shoppin so much. Why? Whats the point? I gaht too much stuff already. But it made him happy. Thank gahd fer McDonalds and their picture menus cus I was so fuckin lost and I ain't eatin eel on a stick bullshit. Gimme some booze and lemme eat my cow. The cat boy showed up half way through too and stayed with us fer awhile. Wasn't so bad. He kept away from my hair, but I think I caught him tryin to count my freckles when I was halfway to passed out.
I'm supposed to be happy and shit right now! I finally gaht my shit together and I gaht a good thing goin! But no, apparently MY fuckin old band is back together. WITHOUT ME. Those motherfuckers gaht a restrainin order against me. I'm hearin there's this fuckin tv show about how they gaht a guy to replace me and some shit? Fuck that! I'm fuckin pissed off! I gahta talk to em. This is fuckin bullshit. Somebody come get me when that thing is back on, cus I ain't doin shit but drinkin between now and then. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | halloween | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | in bed, still | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | give it away now - RHCP | ] |
Naht doin too much lately, as usual. Jest hangin out and all. Saw one of those meme thingies and thought I'd throw it up.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cinnamonxbuns's Halloween party:
advocateofsatan dressed as the Governor of Georgia.
antagone dressed as Tom Cruise - tarred and feathered.
archerhatesyou dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Expert Bandit.
blackulahunter dressed as Herbert Hoover.
cloneofarc dressed as the President of Jamaica.
commanderamarao didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
croozin dressed as a new superhero: Spider Atom.
detective_dean dressed as Nosferatu the Supreme Vampire.
dethklok_cfo dressed as Pavlova the ballerina -- dancing on point too.
eighth_storm dressed as the Lord of Pickstown.
explodeyourself dressed as Helga the wisewoman, although the live snake was a mistake.
g_quagmire dressed as Bob Dylan.
gooddoggy dressed as a walking Guillotine.
greedyful dressed as the Velcro Power Ranger.
herr_doktor_13 dressed as Sybil - except that Sybil didn't show but the other 12 personalities did.
industrial_pink gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Shelly.
judgementok dressed as Guy Fawkes but the exploding barrel of dynamite didn't go down too well.
judysebben dressed as a badger, though it looked more like Barbra Streisand.
mineandfine dressed as a safety for the Packers.
monarch_the dressed as a bottle of Motrel.
necromancer dressed as Jeri Ryan riding a eagle.
pale_valentine dressed as Carmen Electra.
peter_white dressed as Adriana Lima's mother-in-law.
plumpumpkin dressed as the love child of Eddie Murphy and Nicole Kidman.
rainbow_warden dressed as a very fake witch-doctor complete with a collection of shrunken skulls.
rip_van_winkle dressed as Ichabod Crane, the schoolmaster from Sleepy Hollow.
schroneko didn't dress up, spoilsport.
smokingmerc dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Sword of Wrath.
space_viking dressed as a shrub.
third_kira dressed as Mary Queen of Scots ... without her head. Most convincing, and it suited them disturbingly well.
toki_candy dressed as a monster from a Resident Evil game.
unknownunknowns dressed as Sigfried in need of testosterone.
vamp_freak_jan dressed as someone who just had sex.
white_captain dressed as a assistant software design intern.
Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created by sigma7: More info here.
[[ooc: sorry if anyone got missed, the meme grabs names automatically!]] |
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| Gonna get some good sangs outta this |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|12:00 am] |
I look really pretty right now. At least the guys'll think I look metal. It hurts if I press on it though. I had a little accident.
Dok took me out to this awesome lake and we hung out and had a really awesome day. WE EVEN GAHT TO FEED SWAHNS! There were two that came right up to us and we fed em like, ya know, bread and stuff and mine let me pet her and stuff. Pretty sure it was a girl. The one Dok had gaht real mad at him and bit him a few time and started freakin out and chasin him. So the fuckin thing freaks out and he gets up and starts runnin around and its chasin him around.
I look over and he's sittin in a tree and with the swahn starin up at him, so I walk over and the swahn's lady is comin over with me cus she likes me. and I fuckin snarl at the other swahn and its jest like 'dood whatever'. Took me awhile to get up in that tree, too on account'a I'm short as fuck. So I'm up there and we're all talking and I ain't payin attention and I fell outta the fuckin tree and landed on my damn face.
I gaht like 10 stitches riiiight above my left eye brow, like over my nose. Fuckin lucky I didn't push one of my rings into my brain or somethin. But I'm fiiiiine! Jest lookin real pretty. Gaht a doctor that fixed me up real good. |
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| YER ALL FUCKIN NUTS. |
[Sep. 14th, 2008|11:19 pm] |
I'm old, Rummy! I could'a had a heart attack or somethin! Fuckin crazy ass blonds conspirin and shit against me.
Fucker comes in my room with a fuckin GUN pointed at my effing face with the laser and shit. Tells me to get on the ground and he's all on tahp of me and taping my hands together and gettin a bag over my face and TOTALLY CONVINCED ME HE WAS GONNA RAPE ME AND THEN SEND ME TO A RUSTY DILDO FARM FUN BY OLD ASS FAN GIRLS. YA MOTHERFUCKER.
Who does that? What the fuck? If that hadn't led to a party with booze and awesome cake, I would have been knifin all of ya. Fuckin comin to yer house and stabbin ya with nail clippers. I know ya fuckin heard me, don't question it.
Best party ever, though. I dunno how that shit happened. It was awesome. Nice pirate costumes, too. Let's naht plan on havin parties when the full moon is fuckin like tomorrow though. I don't need my boy humpin my effing body into the boat and then I gahta climb 7 feet up in the air onto Dok's back to get away from him. Don't need no more of those dreams, thanks.
Looks like I'll be gettin back into my coke habit. That ain't so bad though, right? I'll get more shit done.
Babe, what the fuck were ya doin to the drug guys? Fuckin weird ass Germans, heh. |
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| Layin low |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|01:16 am] |
Been fuckin around on my guitar a little lately. I still gaht that same Gibson Les Paul goldtop I bought 23 years ago. It kinda, ya know, means shit to me. Memories and shit. Started workin on a song fer ya know, stuff.
Nobody seems to wanna record, and its like dood, fuckin, I'm tired of Charlie bein up my ass, okay? It ain't like I gaht Knubbler to engineer my shit and do takes with me and the other guys can do their shit. No. Mr. effin perfectionist Nat'an has to watch everything and make sure he thinks its perfect. Fuckin douchebags.
Halloween's comin up real soon. Somebody should, uh, have a party. Cus it'd be fun. And uh... I gaht.. good drinkin games and shit. Jest real nervous and shit and I wish it would get here sooner. Nervous.... about my costume and stuff... right. Ya I'll figure somethin out. Jest loosin my mind over it. And prahbly more of my hair, too.
Any body seen Melward? Guy's gaht a bag of my grass.
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| Um... |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|03:06 am] |
Is everybody still alive? I heard somebody died. Maybe I was jest drunk. Cus now I'm old. Older. And drunker. Did I die? I don't think so. Somebody come check.
Too much shit goes on around here, dood. Fuckin werewolves and vampires and shit. What the hell, man? I'm little. I'm gonna get eaten or somethin and then no more drums! No more fun! If I were like... a vampire or somethin... I'd prahbly be bad at it. Ya know, cus I'm lazy as shit. Dood I haven't drank this much in a long damn time and its effin NICE.
I want a puppy. But naht really a puppy. Like... a porkchop. With french fries drenched in vinegar. Yeeeeaaa.
And I want a pair of Air Jordans... but like... Air Pickles. Yea. And they should be made of chocolate. Dark chocolate.
Leibling! Are ya still out on yer hunt or whatever? Come drink with meee! |
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| Ladies and stuff |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|09:56 pm] |
Nat'an's startin to date again after he broke up with that comatose bitch, and he's all bringin these girls home and shit. He's taken em on dates and crap and we're tryin to be good friends and get to know these chicks, but then he throws em away the next day and they're still here! And ain't like he's fuckin em and leavin em, no. He takes em out to dinner and shit and then moves on. What the fuck is that? This is why women get that "I hate men" shit goin. So then I feel like its my job to reassure them that they're nice ladies and all, cus I'm a nice guy like that when it comes to ladies that're all depressed. Plus I the other guys do it too. And Murderface is goin a little overboard with the chivalry thing.
Relationships are good with the right person and I never thought I'd be sayin that. You guys that're my friends can see it; that I'm totally different now and relaxed. Happy. I even started workin on some shit fer the album, whenever we get our shit together fer that. I'm in a good place right now and its different, but I like it. I'm tighter gettin even tighter with Dok, and things are workin out finally.
Oh yea, and some bitch that looks like Kim in seven years tried to kill Nat'an. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2008|03:59 am] |
Mother fuckin fuck dood. I hate this bullshit. Fuckin summer cold is fuckin rapin me over here. So fuckin agitated.
We went to the in-haus doctor guy [and the fuckin prick took my cigar away] he he's all yer naht dyin, jest sweat it out in the sauna. I don't even know why we go to that douche anyways. He's always a douche. Don't need no douche. I know shit about medicine. Naht him. Fucker sayin shit about pahsicles...
I guess one of those Duncan Hills coffee shops exploded and burned a bunch of fans or somethin. And Offdensen wants us to do a benefit show, like its our fault or somethin. Fuck that, I gaht a summer cold and I'm bitchy as fuck. I don't even wanna write this no more.
FUCKIN SUMMER COLD. |
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| Are vampires metal? |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|09:35 pm] |
When the only person ya expect to be totally normal and sane suddenly gets fuckin weird, yer shit gets all fucked up.
I'm all layin in bed comfy with my haht new roommate, and Charlie calls me into his office fer some bullshit meeting thing. He starts his little ramblin about this and that and makin money. I'm kinda tunin it out till somethin he says makes sense or sounds important to me. Cus money and bussiness are important and all but naht fer me to handle; that's what I pay him fer and he's good at it, so I don't gahta listen in my book. But he's lookin kinda weird like his jaw's different or somethin, and then I notice its jest like he's holdin his jaw different, like he's gaht somethin in his mouth. And I'm naht even listenin now, jest leanin in real close over his desk and tryin to figure out what's different.
OFFDENSEN HAS FUCKIN FANGS.
So I freak out of course! And I'm all like "Dood! What the fuck? When did ya get fangs?!" And ya know what? Fucker wouldn't even gimme a straight answer! He's all "No." and hides behind his papers and shit.
Dood. This is serious. I think he's a vampire. I mean, the guy's pale as fuck all the time, nobody sees him unless he comes to us, and he's gaht fuckin fangs. Didn't see no blood or corpses around, besides the usual. But dood, my manager is a fuckin vampire! What if he eats one of us?! He's a fuckin vampire! Nobody kill him though cus... he knows all our shit and we need that. But fuck dood! Somebody fuckin fix this stat or I'm gonna effin knife somebody. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|11:02 am] |
It ain't that I don't like bein supportive of the guys in my band or anything... Its jest that I'm lazy. Ya wanna have some side project charity event extravaganza shenanigans? Great. Awesome. Good fer you, seriously. But I don't wanna have to go anywhere. Unless there's a good bar. And then I'll go. It ain't that I'm insensitive or don't give a shit. Jest lazy. I think we all know that. I don't like runnin around doin shit, and I don't like runnin. Any thing with the word "run" in it is naht fer me.
Murderface had some national anthem cock pass playin thing that gaht cut off of tv cus Toki and Skwisgaar were gettin chased by the police fer drunk drivin and havin guns and shit. I swear to Gahd I am the only normal person in this band, and even I know I'm pretty fuckin far from normal. So Murderface is all pissed off and had to have some fuckin big NASCAR event or somethin. But I uh.. kinda gave him somethin to relax so he could do his thing but it jest fucked him up. Nat'an and I made him shit his pants, pretty funny. And I think Toki and Skwisgaar had to go take driving lessons or somethin. Hah, dildos. I should buy another car.
I hate the stupid paparazzi that follow us everywhere. Dok and I went to this restaurant, nothin flashy, and somehow they still managed to show up. I guess someone there called the media or something while we were eatin cus they were all over and freakin out when we left. I hope they gaht a good picture of me given them the finger. Its like, can't I jest go somewhere and naht be bothered? He's all worried he's gonna mess up my image and I'm like dood, don't even worry about it. Every other day, I'm the devil or I'm a gahd to those idiots. Doesn't even matter what I do.
Gahta do my fuckin hair again. Ya'd think I'd be used to it after all this time. Pain in the fuckin ass. Wasn't there somethin I was supposed to do... OH. Its fourth of July...right? Kay. Let's get some motherfucking fireworks and get drunk! And haht dahgs! Lots of haht dahgs! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|01:59 am] |
I've actually been doin shit lately! Gaht lots of crazy stuff goin on around here.
Went to Florida fer awhile, was ambassador to China, had a stripper O.D. outside the club...
Oh and been hangin out with Dok a lot. He's comin to stay with me fer a month or so in July, takin time off from his Nazi business and hangin with me. Its jest good to have him around; I can talk to him about stuff and I like hearin all about his work and his life. Turns out when he was hidin out in Brazil, one of the only radio stations he gaht played mostly Snakes'n'Barrels. That's pretty awesome. I'm jest so stoked I finally gaht him to come over and everything was perfect. I guess I jest.... found what I've been lackin.
Now I'm all settled in with a few bottles of Jack, listenin to some Blooddrunk, and I'm jest fuckin content. Happy. There's somethin I'm wantin to track down. Can ya help me out, Charlie?
Hey Rummy, wanna hangout this week? I haven't seen ya inforever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2008|02:26 am] |
I don't get whats so fuckin bad about date rape. I do it all the time.
Sometimes when I'm jest fuckin bored, I take a bunch of roofies and try to see if I can get off before I pass out. Its pretty fun, and even better when I wake up all fucked up in somebody else's room.
Yea I'm jest fuckin around, bored, lookin fer somethin to do. I hope Dok comes around soon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2008|11:35 pm] |
It turns out that lady that was doin P.R. fer me while Charlie was away was actually a psycho bitch. She was some cult leader bullshit or somethin and all her followers were like pukin up blood from their eyeballs at our concert we did fer them. I guess its kinda metal or whatever, jest annoying she was makin me do all that crap if she wasn't even a real P.R. lady. Whatever, she's fuckin dead now. A piece of a flaming comet or somethin hit her car. Whatever. At least the band ain't actin sos weird around me anymore, and Charlie's back doin what he does.
Nat'an made us watch this documentary crap the other day on the ...Yanamango? I think that's what they're called. I dunno, but they're pretty brutal. They gaht this drug called yopo that's a hallucinogenic that they shoot in each other's faces and makes them turn into their ancient animal form. I gahta try that shit, I ain't even heard of it before! I guess Nat'an is part Yanawhatever cus his grandmother screwed the chief and ate her husband or somethin. Pretty Cannibal Corpse soundin. We should do like a tribute song or somethin.
We make this whole expeditiom to the Amazon so Nat'an can learn about his people or whatthefuckever. We gaht supplies and crap, and of course Charlie's tryin to do his penny pinchin thing, tellin me we don't gahta get snakes fer bate cus there's plenty in the amazon. And fuckin Murderface will naht leave me alone, jest bein a dick and breathin on everybody with his harrible beef jerky breath. Nevermind Toki and Skwisgaar. Apparently of em's copyin the other or some shit so they get into these little rounds of yelling "Stop copies me" over and over again.
The amazon was pretty awesome. Our boat gaht stuck in the river and we ain't jest fuckin abandonin it, so our guys pulled it over this mountain we had to get over. They uh.. kinda all died. Naht our fault. Oh oh oh and if ya ever see Murderface naked, cover yer eyes, seriously. Fucker was tanin ass naked on the deck of the ship. I'm scarred fer life after seein his weiner and his ass. Skwisgaar threw a sandwich at him. Maybe if he hadn't been all naked and peein off the deck he wouldn't have gotten parasites in his weiner.
Yopo is fuckin crazy. The tribe like captured us and we thought they were gonna kill us or somethin. But they gaht out the yopo and we all gaht so fuckin high! I don't remember what happened after that. I think I turned in to an octopus or somethin. I don't even know how we gaht home, I was jest too high.
Oh yea, I guess Wisconsin is havin like these crazy floods or somethin and all these houses and roads are gettin washed away. The fuckin governor or mayor or somethin wants me to come help with charity relief efforts. I'm like dood, its Wisconsin. Nobody's hurt or nothin. Ya know what's in Wisconsin? Fuckin nothin. I ain't doin shit. I fuckin hate that place. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|12:25 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | charlie, p.r., tv | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I wanna be sedated - The Ramones | ] |
Charlie's off on some vacation or something fer a week so we ain't gaht no band meetin's or nothin goin on.
I been wantin to do more stuff lately, jest get outta my room and outta Mordhaus and away from the band fer awhile. There's this lady that's sayin she can help get me all these gigs like tv shows and awards ceremonies stuff like that. She's gaht this like business or whatever that sets it all up. So now I gaht a new P.R. lady and she's been gettin me on game shows and awar.... Did I already say that? I been noticin I been slurrin a little. I had a drink earlier.
The guys have been watchin my stuff and I think they're kinda pissed that I'm doin all this shit but whatever, dood. I've been fuckin bored as fuck and we ain't workin on an album or somethin.
Start watchin tv and buyin shit, cus I'm there! |
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annoyed
relieved
angry
drunk
sick
contemplative
giggly
horny